Pokemon-Fangame - 'Pokemon Reborn' Review 5 - I can't love you

Drama-Edition

Ah, here I am again. It has been two months since the last article. This break seems unusual, even by my standards. How is my status right now? 7 badges and a defeated (false) god. Great. 

I realized that I will probably never really love this fan hack. And that's too bad because I was really close here and there. So that will always remain an ambivalent relationship between hatred, frustration and defiance as well as fun, inner satisfaction and pride. And I don't even have half of all badges. 

The reason for the long break was that I was actually 'done' with the game. Following are explicit spoilers. After being given a false 'Arceus' on LV75 and my slave team is expected to somehow manage to survive even one attack of it, let alone defeat the thing, it was over. That was enough impertinence. Why would I do this to myself any further? I made a rage post in the community and that was it. 

Many advice and hints how I could survive the fight followed, advice that I had not asked for or even wanted. I ignored all of it and left.

Unfortunately, I seem to have been right when I said that once a game binds you for a while and involves you in the story and the challenge, it won't let you go. After a month it got on my nerves. I wanted to go back. Of course I could have passed Arceus by cheating. But who wants that?! Do I want that at some point I have left all 18 badges and the league of this fangame behind me only to then listen to the fact that I cheated my way through this one, unfair fight? So I read through the advice and the first one gave the right direction. Use gravelers sturdy Ability to survive at least one fatal attack. I modified the advice a bit, caught several of them and some Onix, and forced Arceus to his knees with earthquakes and a ton of revives. 

Feeling of success? 0.

When you read through the advice, you quickly noticed a pattern. Nobody really defeated Arceus 'naturally', everyone needed a certain 'trick' or 'solution' to get past this compulsory story-technical task. Not in a million years would I have thought of using gravelers and earthquakes to collapse the cave. Or any of the other 'solutions'. That may say more about me than the game, but it says one thing above all: the fight is a gimmick. A mini-game. A riddle to be overcome. No pokemon fight in a pokemon game. This no longer has anything to do with difficulty. With normal means you can get no further here. Only with a sophisticated gimmick solution for an otherwise impossible, because unbeatable, unfair fight. A gimmick. In the main story, mind you. Pokemon Reborn. What else can you say? That it is a design disaster for which even the team behind Aliens: Colonial Marines probably would be ashamed into the Void. But we know by now that Pokemon Reborn is unfair, in love with its puzzles and terribly designed, that's nothing new. I'm only now at the point where it has permanently clouded my enthusiasm for the game. Players have pointed this out and will argue that the fight was optional - no it wasn't! If I have to side with a stupid fanatic to avoid a fight, it's not optional.

My god, this shitpile of a game. 

It is ironic - I actually wanted to stop for this fifth article just before the Arceus fight because I was more or less full of praise. The game had me again, I enjoyed the course of events, it could have ended so positively. And then the gimmick. Quit. 

But here I am again. And I get the shit behind me. Even if I will surely be quitting many times more and take five years. SHITGAME! 

Let’s get to the clear and chronological 
pro and contra-impressions. What was good, what wasn't? 
Let's look back. Recordings of the most important fights 
including Arceus can be found below. 

PRO & CONTRA:

+ Every dialogue and every scene with Charlotte cures me from the fetch quest and every possible sickness. 

+ - Team Meteor has had the building in its hands for years, but nobody wanted to fix the lights or clean up a bit? 

+ Interesting that on the rescue mission to Dr. Frankenstein 
you can pass him without a fight. I just tested it and then 
reloaded it.

 Fuck the fight with the doctor. Fuck the balancing. 

- What I can forgive is that the Meteor Admin and the Doctor just disappear with a black screen. What I can't forgive is that Charlotte and 'Princess' just blop out even without a black screen. Man, the technique of this game ...

+ Cool, the journey with the kids continues. How long?

- Underground and underground track puzzles. Immediately youtube’d, 

no regret. 

+ Charlotte and 'Princess' should have lots of babies together. If I can't have them, they should at least get each other.

+ Leaving the tunnel and thus reborn city is a great moment, we see real nature for the first time and are - for now - free. The music really captures this feeling.

+ Shortcut in the underground system. 

- Charlotte in the meteor cave: what was that? HMMMMM ... maybe something related to... ASTEROIDS ????

- I just spent 40 minutes trying to catch a Togedemaru in the flower meadows. While this is technically not the fault of the game, I still blame it, especially since my slaves never escaped wild Pokemon on the first turn, ten levels above them.  

- Sigh Fetchquest for medicine. But it is for Anna. For Anna. For Anna.  

- HEY COOL, A NEW PUZZLEINTHEFORESGoogled.  

- Even with a YouTube guide I hate this forest riddle.

+ Spinel Town and everything in it is actually funny.

+ - Wouldn't it have been fun if the Pokecenter lady had 
disappeared while my team was healing so that they would 
be trapped behind the counter forever?

- Let me guess real quick: I have to defeat the gym leader to get the shop and thus the medicine back. Well played.  

+ Serra is the stuff NSFW is made of. Her melancholic personality is also appealing.

- Hey there is this random girl who wants to challenge me, let me tell her my and my son's life story!
 

- Actually, I'm supposed to get medicine for Anna, but the crybaby can still suffer a little longer while I earn my next badge!

- However I am supposed to know how to touch the glass in Serra's Gym without injury. Try & Error. 

- You want to fight the gym leader to cure your friend? HAHAHAHA Nooope! First you fight her son Edgelord Mc Edgenstein!

+ - Jesus, this game is really a boss-rush ... two gym leaders in a row... (This is refering to Serra and Noel, I mixed up my notes here)

- Noel's porygon killed my entire slave team with one blow for each. That will be fun.

+ Aaaand a nice twist with the meteors rushing towards the lake. I'm a fan of a potential Defend the Fortress Quest. And FINALLY the gym leaders do something.

+ Although I don't know the complexity of the planning game yet I like the general idea and the music. A welcome change in gameplay.

- Lost to the meteor boss, have to travel all the way from Spinell Town through the forest and the cave again. 

+ - I love and hate the bosses in this game. While the puzzle aspect is slowly but steadily getting to me, the way some battles are designed is still horrendous. In the fight against Mr.Meteor in the lakehouse, for example, I would have to cross the city, forest, cave and meadows again after every defeat if I hadn't saved in front of the house. What I liked about the fight was that after nine or ten tries, I had a carefully assembled team of slaves, each one a counter for one of his six pokemon. If even one of the first three attacks didn't work as planned, I could reload directly because the fight was lost. One attack missed? Reload. Very frustrating and nerve-wracking but immensely rewarding once it worked.

+ The whole Lin-thing sounds interesting, and thank you for being teleported out of the meteor hiding place instead of giving me another mutant fight. 

- Thanks withdrawn, of course it was just postponed and the 
cursed DRAGON GYM LEADER LEAVES EVERYTHING TO 
ME.

- Ladies and Gentleman, the Reborn Elite Four, the absolute top of competence. And the prize for the best Pokemon goes to Lilligant, probably one of the strongest trained slaves in the entire region, who does a shit to protect her trainer and has NO IDEA what the fuck just happened.

- AND NEITHER DO I !! HOW DID THE DOCTOR GET PAST ME WITH LAURA? WHY CAN EVERY VILLAIN IN THIS GAME PLAY ASSPULL EX WALKINA BEFORE ME OR OTHER IMPORTANT CHARACTERS WITH A FADE TO BLACK? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENS HERE ?????

- "He has no authority to do that"

WEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL

- "Hey, my sister is one of Reborn's most powerful trainers, but since I am worried about her, I take this much weaker, random trainer with me to save her haha"

- Hopefully Laura is not stuck behind a tiny puddle, otherwise I must first defeat three gym leaders and the reincarnation of ARCEUS to get surf!!! (Yes, I wrote this before I knew about the Ditto fight. What does that tell us ...?)

I like every aspect of the fact that meteor guards bleed out in front of the hide out. Even Charlotte's sister is my future dream woman.

+ - I have no idea how the arrow puzzle worked, but just kind of spammed through it.

+ No pro for the game but I have to mention how absolute MVP my ponslave (Rapidash) is. It is the only mon that is almost always in the team with my starter, it is now the leader of my entire slave army and goddamn it kicks ass and defeats pretty much everything that breathes. Except Arceus.

+ If Saphira does not deliver on her promise to kill Frankenstein, I riot!

- It's terrible that you actually have to beat the gigantic steelix to get ahead. You can get soft-locked here.

- ... Why are we helping Zel to defeat X-Men-Abra again?

-Lin unfortunately doesn't seem to be particularly interesting. Like most villains, she probably attended the "Power is everything, and by the way I'm also from the orphanage" school. I'm looking forward to tearing her apart. Not literally.

- I just killed a blue Sandshrew ... Fuck ...
- The emotional scene in which Laura talks about the fire would be much more emotional if the lively quirky music did not  play over it. 

- + The forest outside Reborn has nice lighting effects, pleasant music and, most importantly, is SHORT.

+ I'll take it back: Route 1 (And the forest) is HUGE. But that's not a bad thing: I really like the game right now. The map is well designed and I just like the feeling of freedom from the concrete city. I appreciate that you can (without success) go back to the city gates and I like the research center as a trainer hub. The RPG atmosphere really gets through here! 

+ We have reached route 1! ... with level 55. What a trip it was. And the best way to continue: Fern comes along and I destroy him the first time like the fernmin he is.

+ - I swear to Arceus if Fern ever gets a tragic backstory, the region burns. He's an asshole and nothing more.

- .......... I had to google how to get back on Route 1. It's unfortunate that Pokemon Reborn immediately sacrifices this newfound feeling of freedom and adventure because EVERYTHING IN THIS DAMN GAME MUST BE A SMALL SHITTY PUZZLE. THIS GAME ISNT SUPPOSED TO BE FUN, NOOOOOOOO ~ 

+ YEAH TAUROS RIDING-

- Aaaannnd there my tauros goes, or doesn’t go where it should.

+ Okay, the whole thing about the castle is a bit much to take in. So many characters, names flying around, background stories ... Not that I don't like that. It all feels very RPG-esque and as if everything is slowly coming together. I even can forgive another pre-leader fight.

- I'm not prepared and Cains Mimikyu slaughtered my entire team. Classic Reborn.

- Whenever this game catches you on a positive note, it breaks you in two halves again and falls apart on itself. The pre-leader fight against Cain was one of the most terrifying of the whole game, I lost over ten times and finally only won with pure luck. I threw almost all my slaves on him, but above all his mimikyu was simply unbeatable. I hate, hate, hate Cain and would be happy to kill her with a thousand knives. To hell with you, Cain. To hell with this game and its fights. I haven't enjoyed that battle in the least and I can't imagine how anyone else could.

- Aaaaaand we postpone the gym leader fight to save the suddenly kidnapped Gardevoir. We do that because ... uh ... why do we help again?

Worst.

Writing.

Ever.

- Every time you think you know how bad the writing in reborn is, it comes around the corner with a grin and kicks you in the crotch. Gardevoir is obviously a lying, wrong piece of Pokémon excrement, this new, blue-haired trainer believes the whole brainwashing shit and the Gardevoir just takes our pendant - HOW ?! HOW IN ALL GOD'S NAMES DOES SHE DO THIS??? WHY DO WE LET HER DO THIS ?! BECAUSE WE ARE THE SILENT, USELESS, LIFELESS PROTAGONIST !!!!

- This game has absolutely no feeling for atmosphere. The electronic music during the whole dialogue scene in the sanctuary is so unbearable that I had to switch it off after a few minutes.

- ooohcoolastatuepuzzledgoogled.

- This whole decision-thing with Radomus is so incredibly stupid. It is 100% clear and obvious that it only comes so far because Radomus decides to speak incredibly vague and mysterious. And why? FOR THE PLOT. This decision is a farce and EVERYONE CHOOSES RADOMUS.

The Fuck?

- Of course I have to run all the way down there again if I lose to Arceus. And everything has already been said about the fight itself. Just ridiculous.

- Of course, all characters are then teleported out randomly, only I have to walk.

Pokemon Reborn in a nutshell.

BATTLE ARENA: 

             (Please see the recordings of my battle here in the same section as uploading those videos takes a tremendous amount of time.)

Conclusion: Uh... this article was way too long? I dont like Reborn? I still want to play it? Keep your downvotes? Still love y'all? 


Ugh, anywas. Time to continue the grind. Until I bleed out. Or murder my PC.

- Yoraiko